Pants Fitting:Peccadilloes from my Past

I’m looking for love.

 

In all the wrong places.

  

 I could write a country song about how many times I have bellied up to the bar and flirted with one potential catch after another, each time hoping for my heart’s desire.

Naughty me, I’ve even went home with a few! 😉  

My addiction leads me seek out various purveyors of temptation. Honky-tonks with names like JoAnn’s or Hancocks.  When I have given up hope at my familiar watering holes I take a break and try out one of the swanker joints, you know the kind where if you lose track of yourself you will end up with an even swankier tab when the night is through.

I have lived this life since my early twenties at least.  Love ‘em and leave ‘em, I have repeated the same cycle of hope and disappointment countless times.   

But my promiscuous wanderings have left me empty and bereft, literally –

Not a single damn one of the pants patterns I have ever purchased has ever fit! 

 

My Pants Fitting Blues

This is my beef with the pants patterns I have tried so far.  Some of the patterns have had nearly all of these issues, some just a few. 

Depth– Horrendous fit at the crotch.

Ease – The pants have too much or too little extra across the rump and belly.

Fashion – The pattern gives you a trouser that is about ten years out of date, or one that is a bit too art-to-wear for everyday wear.

Dorky – The results are flaw-revealing versus figure flattering.   

Unreliable – the pattern doesn’t turn out reliably well-fitting in various fabrics.

Pattern Instructions Advise Poor Techniques – the instructions when followed result in a wonky, unprofessional looking finish.

 Now any of these problems could be overcome singly.  But they tend to cluster so that tinkering with one aspect of the pattern creates greater problems elsewhere.  I rarely get past the muslin stage for most patterns.  I give up disgusted with my figure, my sewing skills and the pattern companies.  I don’t understand why I can’t sew a decent pair of pants when I can make shirts, skirts, and dresses. 

Though lovelorn, hope does spring eternal and I haven’t given up on my heart’s desire – a TNT pants pattern with a terrific fit, consistent performance, and that allows for some stylistic alterations to keep things fun and current. 

I have come to the point where I have bought so many patterns and put in so much labor, that I figure learning to draft my own can’t be any more arduous in time or heart.  So I took the plunge, checked out of the library an old patternmaker’s manual and I am trying my hand at drafting.  Over the next few weeks I will post and let you know how things go. 

I anticipate wonderful things! (But then that has been my pattern. Hmm…)  We’ll have to wait and see if this is to be yet another unfulfilling tryst, or if at last, I have found my perfect match.

Next Post: Thursday, June 3, 2010: My Pattern Drafting Results So Far!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gwen
    Jun 01, 2010 @ 08:00:44

    ROFL! How funny! And so true! I like the Palmer/Pletsch pants fitting method. It is the closet I come to a good fitting pair of pants. Good luck with your draft.

    Reply

  2. Memaw sews
    Jun 01, 2010 @ 11:23:27

    This sounds like the same song I sing to myself. Just like you, I refuse to give up. Following your drafting experience will be fun!

    Reply

  3. Marie-Noëlle LAFOSSE
    Jun 02, 2010 @ 01:04:07

    Great post and humour.
    I’ll be following your experience in drafting land and wish you good luck

    Reply

  4. Sister
    Jun 05, 2010 @ 08:09:08

    LMAO!!! Hilarious post! Ignore my previous comment about what pattern you were using. This takes lots of patience – you go girl! (Here’s hoping you can stop your slutty ways and settle down with a winner.)

    Reply

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